“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.

I think having achieved little to nothing this year apart from binge watching a lot of tv and an ever expanding waistline, has made me realised how quickly the year goes by, how quickly the years go by.

I keep looking at my calendar in disbelief that it is already September. I had so many plans and hopes for what this year would hold. I thought I would be on the road again exploring more of this amazing country. I thought I’d get to jet set around Europe and tick off more of my bucket list.

But like everyone else my plans have been grounded and confined to the four walls of my flat.

I’ve always been a planner, a dreamer…

At 7 I thought I’d be a popstar. At 10 I wanted to grace the silver screen. I thought I would climb Everest, become an astronaut, travel to every country, run a marathon. I wanted to cure hunger, stop climate change and solve world peace. I thought I’d join the list of great artists, be on every class syllabus like Dickens and Austen. Have young minds wonder if the weather was foreboding. I wanted to win a Pulitzer prize, maybe even a Nobel prize. Like I said I was quite the dreamer.

But to quote a wise old wizard:

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

– Albus Dumbledore

And through living I’ve realised many of these are frankly optimist, and unrealistic dreams. I’m practically tone deaf, I cannot act, I am not athletic and I get motion sick on roundabouts. I’ve bought homeless people biscuits but it’s hardly curing world hunger (especially when they complain that they prefer dark chocolate). My writing may only ever be read by friends and family so I doubt there will be any awards in my future, but a girl can hope.

When I was younger I was so sure of where I would be at this age. I thought I would meet my soul mate at university and be married by 25, establish a career then have my first kid at 27, second at 30. I’d be successful in both my professional and personal life.

What a lovely little dream.

I’m fast approaching 27 and realising how ridiculous this plan was. I find myself on the other side of the world unsure of my next steps, and as someone who loves to plan it’s hard to realise life doesn’t really have one.

I see my social media full of engagements, gender reveals, new homeowners and weddings and worry that everyone else has a leg up in the game of life. Like somehow I’m doing it wrong. But then I think by whose standard? How can there be a set way to live?

I feel like people become obsessed with doing things at the right time. But what does that even mean… when is the ‘right’ time? The pressure we place on ourselves to meet these milestones is really quite ridiculous.

I’ve recently been watching Younger which focuses on a woman who – struggling to find a job in publishing after taking a 15 year hiatus to raise her daughter – lies about her age to get hired.

In a recent episode I heard a very apt quote:

“Dreams we have as a child, dreams we pack in a box for college, dreams you unpack when you move into your first apartment, who you’ll meet, where you’ll work, who you’ll fall in love with. Think you have it all figured out. Life has better ideas. A bigger imagination takes bigger chances… Life gives you more than you thought but maybe not in the package you expected. It’s deeper than that. It’s what you need underneath the want. It gives you what you can’t breathe without. So go ahead and plan, just know when all your scheming, and planning, and hoping is done, life plans back.”

-Diana Trout – Younger

So maybe we should quit looking at the timeline, stop comparing ourselves to others, throw away society’s yard stick and just do things at our own pace.

Go to university at 18 or even 80, or don’t go at all. Start your own business, work in hospitality, or work your way up the corporate ladder. Have kids in your 20s, have kids in your 40s, don’t have kids. Travel the world or never leave your hometown. It doesn’t matter.

Do what makes you happy. Life shouldn’t be measured but enjoyed.

Live. Just live.