The friend-zone is a concept as old as time itself. It is somewhere no-one wants to be and in our lifetimes we’ll all put someone in that box, or be placed in there ourselves.
It is the curse of unrequited feelings.
One sided attraction is always difficult to deal with especially if the person with those feelings is a good friend. You don’t want to lose them so selfishly you keep them in your life but on your terms.
I was discussing this with my friend the other day and she said it is your fault if you land in the friend zone. It seems I always do a perfect backwards hand-spring with one and a half twists and land with a flourish into the safety of the blue mat that is the friend zone, (excuse the gymnastics analogy) According to her if I didn’t make it obvious from the start that we could be more than friends then it’s my fault I ended up there.
Now speaking for myself I am physically unable to talk to men I find attractive. I become socially awkward, and try so hard to be funny I end up saying something weird. A little liquid confidence and I’m fine. I don’t condone alcoholism but it helps a little…I loosen up, lose my self-consciousness and am myself. It’s refreshing to not over think and freak out. However no matter how much flirting and predestined ideas of being with them I always end up there.
An example here would be I was at my work place and a beautiful man walked in, distracted I dropped my only pen in the bin and flushed a vibrant shade of red. Later he came up to pay for what he had ordered and I couldn’t for the life of me work out what his change was. I got flustered, made some weird noise and laughed at own stupidity. He left with a look that said “what an idiot…” So when I see a guy I like my usual reaction is to avoid all eye contact and turn the other way.
It got me thinking if we are friend zoned maybe it means we are unable to pick suitable partner for ourselves. Maybe the friend zone is destiny’s way of telling you this isn’t the guy or gal for you.
To be honest what is so bad about the friend zone! If a person cares for you enough to want you in their life, in any way they can get you, and you care for them, shouldn’t you be happy with their friendship. Anyway a lot of people think they’re stuck in the hell that is the friend zone but has anyone ever heard of the tired old cliché patience is a virtue. If it’s meant to be in my opinion everything will work out.
The friend-zone doesn’t have to be the end-zone, it can be the beginning.